If You Really Knew Me...

You would know that I have two sisters whom I barely know. The first, Michelle, is the product of my fathers first marraige, and is older than me by about 15 years. When I was young she would come to visit in the summer and we'd send birthday cards back and forth and talk on the phone a few times a year. A few years ago she had a falling out with my dad over my brother, sister, and I. She didn't feel like she had been treated fairly by our father - that he had favored us. She refuses to communicate with any of 'us'. She lives in Florida with her husband, a few dogs, and some kind of parrot, I think. Thats about all I know about her anymore, really.

My younger sister, Faren, turns 20 today. I am dreading having to call her for the occasion. We grew up in the same household, with the same two parents, and yet, I hardly know her at all. This is because my sister is addicted to Oxycontin. Its been about four years now, since she started crushing the prescription painkiller and snorting it, or injecting herself with the liquid version, primarily reserved for terminally ill cancer patients. My sister is an addict in every sense of the term - its no different from cocaine or herion. She has done unimaginable things to my family, and herself, because of the drugs. There have been 'interventions', screaming matches, short stints in rehab and the emergency room for overdoses. Tears, and anti-anxiety medication, total consumption and all out avoidance in my family conversations. There have been ruined holidays and many sleepless nights. We don't speak often, because there really isnt anything to say. Our interactions are obviously painful and awkward.

They say that nobody knows you quite as well as your sister. Sadly, I have two, and this couldn't be further from the truth. Don't missunderstand - I'm not complaining. I'm just one of millions of Americans whos lives have been ripped apart because of drugs. But I have a wonderful brother, whom I am so thankful for, and we are very close. And my family is stronger than we look. Sometimes I just feel like I've been jipped a little, on the sister side.