A True Story

Last night after work I headed into Peoria to return our cable box to Comc@st so our service at the old house could be turned off. The line was long, so as I often do when I'm faced with any kind of long wait in the company of strangers, I people watched. I'm always fascinated by the way that strangers interact with each other, with the people in their parties, their kids. Not to mention how they dress, act, speak, and the clothing choices they made when they rolled out of bed that day. To put it bluntly, the people in there were pretty trashy.
One particular lady caught my attention and I fixated on her for several minutes. I would guess that she weighed an easy 350 pounds. She was wearing blue sweatpants that had been hacked off mid calf, and a T-shirt that was so thread bare you could see her enormous boobs right through it. Seriously, I do not think that I have every seen boobs this big before in my life. Did I mention the clearly overstretched animal print bra showing right through the shirt? And slippers. House slippers. Seriously, she couldn't have taken the time and effort to at least put on real shoes? Classy.
So I finally get out of the office and head back to my car, thinking of how glad I am to be moved to Metamora and not have to deal with the Peoria lifestyle anymore, when I step down and feel a slimy crunch. Great, what did I step on?! So, I pick up my foot and what do I see....a chewed on piece of fried chicken.

I laughed all the way home.