Counseling Apt.

Yesterday at my appointment with my counselor we talked about my support network since my dad has died. Its something I've thought a lot about the last few weeks - who has been there and who hasn't. And in the past five weeks I've been very surprised by some of the people who have been supportive, and some that I expected to be who haven't. There are so many people that I expected to hear from that I haven't - high school friends, college friends, friends in Peoria. Maybe it is selfish, but I expected a phone call, or a card, or maybe even just an "I'm sorry about your dad" on faceb00k or in an email or a text message - and they never came.

My counselor said that it is not uncommon - that lots of people have these feelings after the loss of a parent, and that most people choose to lose a lot of 'friends'. And I understand that some people are very uncomfortable in the situation and don't know what to say or do...but that doesn't mean they shouldn't say or do anything. And I understand now, that until you have lost a parent, you can't understand. My understanding of losing a family member was limited to my grandparents, which was hard, but in comparison - there is no comparison. The grief of losing a parent is all consuming. And that is why it is so important for the person to know that the people they care about care back.

Of course there are the people that have been there unconditionally as well, like Rob and Melissa, and that didn't surprise me, because that's just the kind of people they are. So many times in the early weeks Melissa would call and say, 'dinner's at six'. She just knew. She is just that kind of friend. I hope for everybody that when they lose their parents, like we all will someday, that they have friends like Rob and Melissa to be there for them.

And everybody who reads my blog, even if you don't leave comments - some days it is my biggest comfort just to know that somebody is reading what I write about my dad and about my grief, and that you care enough to keep reading, even when it isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Thanks.