Death and Taxes

I did our taxes today. We owe. Bummer. Then, I realized that I have to file taxes for my dad. Bigger Bummer. Lots of other stuff going on lately - just haven't felt up to blogging about it. Work. My family (and NOT my sister this time!). Money. The Weather (miserable lately). The usual. It's just seems more exhausting this time.

Recently I got a save-the-date for a wedding coming up this summer and it made me think about a lot of things. I've always been the type of person who has many acquaintances and few friends, I always will be. Even within my own family, if you played 'Which One Doesn't Belong', I'd clearly be the one left standing alone. And I'm okay with that, now. But I lost (admittedly, by choice) several friends when my dad passed away, and my capacity for niceness lately has been greatly reduced. I hold grudges. Sometimes, I'm abrasive. Its who I am. I don't pretend things are good when they aren't. So while I would love to attend this wedding, I know some of 'those people' will be there, too. I just don't know how to deal with it. I wish there was a manual for this kind of stuff.

You know that place where sad meets discouraged. I'm there.